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Work's been so slow today. The revival of the tech calls.. I've seen customers do some strange things, but I've never had a customer try to lie to me about what operating system they are using. Me: "I-55 Internet Services. This is Jason speaking, how may I help you?" Customer: "My computer is moving extremly slow when it's online." Me: "Allright(pull up acct and junk).. What operating system are you using?" Customer: "Windows." Me: "(That answer never gets booring).. What version?" Customer: "2000." Me: "(Everything is done differently in 2000) Okay, Mam, double click My computer, then double click control panel, then double click phone and network connections." Customer: "I don't have phone and network connections in the control panel..." Me: "Do you have Dial Up Networking?" Customer: "Yes, it's in here." Me: "Oh, well that means you have Windows Millenium Edition." Customer: "(Actually kind of snippy with me) No, I have Windows 2000!" Me: "Ooook. Lets check into this...(Did a whole bunch of booring ass stuff that you don't want to re-hash with you all again, and deduced that she needed to have Dial Up Networking.. which is NOT a part of Windows 2000... reinstalled.)" Me: "Okay, Mam, it looks like we need to reinstall Dial Up Networking. Do you have your Windows Mil.. eh 2000 CD?" Customer: "No." Me: "Okay, well lets see if you have any cab files on you hard drive, which we can use in substutution of the CD(Windows 2000 does NOT have any cab file support.. only 95, 98, 98SE, and ME do)." Customer: "Okay." Me: "(Do a file search, and find several cab files.) Do you see any that have 'WIN', then a number written after them?" Customer: "Yes, I have about 25 of them." Me: "(Again, too obious that she has Windows ME) And they're written as 'winme_##.cab?'" Customer: "No, just 'win_##.cab'" Me: (Thinking to myself.. FUCK, you sure are one stubborn bitch, aren't you? You still won't admit that I was right, and you have Windows ME? I could completly fuck your machine up right now if I wanted to, and I couldn't get in trouble, because you've been withholding information about your computer.. and why? Because I was right, and you were wrong? Just come clean allready.) Okay, lets try something else. Click on your start button." Customer: "Okay." Me: "Now, on the left hand side of the start button, written horizontally, is the name of your operating system. What's written there?" Customer: "Uh.. Windows 2000?" Me: "(Really fed up now) Okay, one more thing I need to check. Double click my computer, then control panel, then system." Customer: "Ok." Me: "Now, start at the BOTTOM, and read everything to me.. working your way towards the top." Customer: "(Blah blah blah)... Millenium Edition, then Windows, then Microsoft." Me: "Okay, stop right there!" Customer: "Ok...." Me: "Now, starting at MICROSOFT, read back downwards." Customer: "Microsoft Windows Milenium Edition.." Me: "Thank You! You have Windows ME. Do you realize that if I had tried a Windows 2000 fix on your machine, it would have ruined it?" Customer: "Oh..." Fuck it, her computer was irrepairable, anyway. Dumbass. Later Old Stuff  |
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