Well, friends... It's over.
I have been writing in this journal for just over a year now, and I must say that doing so has been quite good for me. This journal was started as my way of dealing with the pain of a single act that nearly tore me from the foundation of my humanity. So many memories I've shared. So many emotions. So many people I've met.
For those of you that have read along, and laughed when I was happy, and cared when I was angry, and talked to me when I was upset.... Thank You. From the bottom of my heart. People like you reafirm my faith in humanity. Rest assured that I will continue to read what you have to say in your own journals. I hope that I have, or will some day touch your lives as you have touched mine.
But now it's time for me to move on. I'm not the same person I was when I started this journal. When I started writing these passages, I was hurt, angry, and lashing out at the world. The love of a good woman has helped me conquer those feelings, and realise that anger and hatred consume no one but myself. I doubt that even now, she realizes where I was when I met her.
Hopefully, this does not mean we cannot be friends anymore. I'll still be around, and I would still love to keep in touch with you. As always, yahoo is JohnnySELU, and AIM is Johnny00710. Drop me a line some time.
As I leave, I would like to share some wisdom that I have gathered both internally, and through external observations:
Anger is one of the few things in life that is impossible to defeat. The harder you try to beat it, the stronger it becomes. The only way to overcome it, is to accept it. The harder you try to defeat your anger, the stronger it becomes, until it defeats you. However, if you face your angers, and accept them, you will not be defeated by them, they will instead make you stronger.
As a good friend of mine wrote in his Die-Ary:
You can cry until there is nothing wet in you.
You can scream and curse until your throat rebels and ruptures.
You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen.
And, still, it makes NO difference.
It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you.
And you never know that if it ever did relent...
It would not be because it cared.
And for those of you that this may apply to, always remember:
There's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it.
Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt.
I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now...
But I can't help but look forward to where it's going.
Farewell, friends. If I do start over again, I'll be sure to let you know.